Chapter II: Being before the big bang – the flux

An Autobiography of a Cancer Cell

Chapter II. Being before the big bang – the flux

I have these persistent premonitions from my past life. Sometimes I could sense them very intensely. One emotion that was the most predominant, as far back as I could remember was this feeling of weakness. Others around were not like me, who grew with apparent robust health. However, I was given to understand that, there were others like me elsewhere, in far off places, beyond the reach of my comprehension. I did make an all out effort to overcome this weakness by strengthening myself and it did pay off for some time. I was doing my work admirably, despite this sense of limitation, by sheer commitment and perseverance and was sure that I would have gone on. Due to my rigorous self-care I was sure I would have outlasted others. My weakness could have become my strength. My lesser metabolism and basic activities could have been a blessing in disguise. However, that was not the case to be and instead I was hit regularly by one or the other irritations. {All chronic diseases like diabetes, hypertension, heart attack, stroke, cancer etc have no causative agents. All of them have risk factors which increase the probability of getting a disease. The most important risk factor, which is in our power, is lifestyle. The other factor is genetic weakness which is not under our control. When weakness of a cell and wrong lifestyle join together, only then does a disease manifest. If major factors in lifestyle are taken care of then either disease does not manifest, or may come late in life or even if it does manifest there is a higher probability of cure.}

These irritations were of several types. Some came like torpedoes out of water. Some came like missiles hitting from the horizon. Some would just seep in like water into a leaky boat. Sometimes they could be all-around me, swamping me, till I became breathless in the process of flushing them out. Sometimes they would cease for days. Some would singe me, some would poison me from inside. {Some major irritants are tobacco in various forms, adulterations in water & food, improper diet, environmental pollutants, alcohol etc. The above affect either alone or in combinations and combinations increase risk disproportionately.} However, over a period, the intensity of irritations increased, or so I thought. Or, it could be that I got weakened further. Anyway it appeared like a losing battle, and I always thought and prayed that if only these waves of irritations would cease and it would be a relief. However, my prayer was not answered and I continued to suffer. I also observed that, my neighbours, who were nonchalant earlier {Genetically strong cells}, were now feeling the heat although not to the extent of my predicament.

I can remember I was not alone in this fight. I got the means from indivisible sources to clear the slush. I got chemical agents to scrub the place clean. {Vitamins, antioxidants and fibre products in combinations (e.g. Vitamin C alone may not prevent cancer, but a combination of vitamin C and acetyl cystien might.} I would pick up items from the river flowing next to me to cleanup, deactivate and make them non-poisonous. My healthier neighbours would aid me to clear the sludge immediately. They appeared not to be bothered much about the whole thing, but for me it was a matter of life and death. {A body puts into effect its cleaning process. However, it may be a moment of gratification of desire and many days or months for the body to clear those irritants.} Messengers came from everywhere to support me. They would help me to handle the situation emotionally and physically. They would appear out of the blue sky, be at my side and disappear as quietly as they came. I visualized them to be my angels, my saviours. In addition, there were plenty of police people, the keepers of the law. Further, the army, who hunt down these irritating agents along with the police, was there whenever required. That would give me a sense of security that I would always be protected, whatever be my troubles. {Police and army are the acute and chronic inflammatory cells or Natural Killer Cells of body} However, I did not know at that time that the same angels and police could hunt me down to kill me in my present life, not that I cared – for I would be my own master anyway { E.g. Natural Killer cells of the body}.

Over a time, after many years, help from outside started declining. It was as if those who helped me were themselves in trouble. It appeared that life started to become impossible to live. There was a constant flux. Things started becoming unstable; one could feel the tremor now and then. The situation was fearful, ripe for breakup. None was sure of the tomorrow; a matrix of imponderables. Neighbours automatically became selfish. The supply of essential items became limited. “Angels’” visit became sparse. There were too many problems to be sorted out by so few. The number of police and army parade became less and less. The situation got all mixed up and was like gunpowder waiting to be lit. If only these irritations could stop, there was still a hope of recovery to normalcy {If only one could improve the lifestyle}. Nevertheless, it was destined not to be.

Finally, it happened; the “last straw that broke the camel’s back”. As an event, it was not a great occurrence. It did not light up the sky and it was not awesome. Finally, it was a small spark that burnt the entire forest. A small wave of irritants, not phenomenal by earlier standards hit me. Ripples of rumblings started and the big bang ensued. The last thing I can remember of the past life was the intense pain, as if all the accumulated pain manifested in a crescendo and then falling into oblivion {If by chance, the damage has reached a cumulative critical point, a small dose of irritants are enough to precipitate the formation of a cancer cell or cells}.

I could not remember the subsequent events definitely. Whether it was a smooth transition to the present life or a very new life disconnected from the past, I am not sure. Did I carry any baggage from the past life, like the sum of plusses and minuses, I am still pondering. Like matter that cannot be created or destroyed, whether the same applies to the soul – “soul which cannot be created or destroyed”. This is an interesting point. Whatever maybe, finally here I was, with a robust health, compensating for my weaker past life {Birth of a cancer cell}.

Also, much later in my life, one obsession would trouble my mind about my earlier life. The situation of constant irritations and my demise were preventable. It gave a sense of “what a waste of life” . I had a hunch that the irritation that precipitated the big bang was self-made. It was an act of negligence. It was a situation that I would put it as that of “chronic suicide”. If only the concerned had been more careful…….! {Lifestyle is under the total control of a person and society. Therefore, chronic diseases, in majority of situations, are self made either as a group or as an individual. Environmental pollution and food adulteration are also manmade. In view of this, today, doctors might hesitate to prescribe rigorous high vitamin fibre diet to prevent cancer.  In fact adulterated fruits and vegetables may induce cancer instead of protecting – a scary prospect indeed.  Therefore, the general advice is to avoid expensive commercial fruits/vegetables; and to go for seasonal cheap fruits and fibre vegetableswhere adulteration may be minimal. However, occasionally there could be unknown factors which are not under our control}.